Appetizer
Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?
My friend Z. I have told her things that I have never told anyone else, including my mother or M.
Soup
If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?
Egypt. I love all things Egyptian from hieroglyphs to mummies. (I'd also learn how they built those pyramids!!)
Salad
What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed?
I'd have to say the birth of my children. I didnt really watch them being born, but it was still exciting to meet a brand new person.
Main Course
If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?
I don't think I would pull any stunts just for publicity. I like to be in the background more than anything.
Dessert
What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?
I think mid to late 20's is ideal. That way, you are out of college, working, and have all (or most) of the partying out of your system. It's really sad to see all these young people having kids and they don't really want them.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Countdown
(I copied this little number from AR)
Name 10 things in your refrigerator:
Name 9 places you HAVE had sex before that aren't inside your bedroom:
Name 8 things in your bag (or if you're male...wallet/ pocket):
Name 7 things you do when you're really stressed:
Name 6 things you have in your bathroom:
Name 5 of your favorite fruits:
Name 4 ice cream flavors you NEVER want to try:
Name 3 things you are wearing right now:
Name 2 things on your mind right now:
Name 1 thing you ALWAYS do before getting in bed to sleep:
Name 10 things in your refrigerator:
- Milk
- Eggs
- Water
- Cucumbers
- Carrots
- Hot sauce
- Flour tortillas
- Butter
- Cheese
- Jelly
Name 9 places you HAVE had sex before that aren't inside your bedroom:
- Yard
- Bathroom
- Basement
- Garage
- Living room
- Dining room
- Basement in the front house
- Attic
- SIL house
Name 8 things in your bag (or if you're male...wallet/ pocket):
- Yarn
- Crochet Hook (yeah, so?!)
- Calendar
- Gameboy Advance
- Pen
- Checkbook
- Tums
- Chapstick
Name 7 things you do when you're really stressed:
- Write in my journal
- Blog
- Crochet
- Cry
- Worry myself sick
- Eat the Tums in my bag
- Swear
Name 6 things you have in your bathroom:
- Towels
- Dolphin soap holder
- Cotton balls
- Laundry Basket
- Brush
- Band-aids
Name 5 of your favorite fruits:
- Watermelon
- Strawberries
- Starfruit
- Mangoes
- Cherries
Name 4 ice cream flavors you NEVER want to try:
- Kalamata olive oil gelato
- Roasted sweet potato with marshmallow-rum ripple
- Ginger sorbet
- Soy sauce Ice cream
Name 3 things you are wearing right now:
- Black Shirt
- Black Pants
- Black Socks
Name 2 things on your mind right now:
- Sleep
- Sex
Name 1 thing you ALWAYS do before getting in bed to sleep:
- Tell M that I love him.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
TMI Tuesday #98
I love TMI Tuesday!!
1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received?
Probably something T said to me, but I can't pick just one thing. She has counseled me in tons of things.
2. How many people have you dated at once? How many people do you think it is acceptable to date at once?
I've only dated one person at a time. Personally, I like to give one person at a time my undivided attention.
3. What made your worst kiss so bad?
The fact that he seemed to want to choke me with his tongue and drown me with saliva. EW. That, and there was no feeling in it - just his serious inability.
4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad?
It could if you never want to have sex again. Or if the relationship is open. Otherwise, it is not a complete relationship.
5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have sex with them?
Occasionally grab a handful of hair close to the scalp and squeeze. It sends shivers up my spine just thinking about it.
Take his time and not think about it. Diabetics eventually come to.. um... an unhappy situation. If he is too busy concentrating on me, then neither of us is having fun.
Be willing to try new things, without fear of what I will think of him.
Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
It used to be my ass-length hair, and legs that go up and make an ass of themselves.
1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received?
Probably something T said to me, but I can't pick just one thing. She has counseled me in tons of things.
2. How many people have you dated at once? How many people do you think it is acceptable to date at once?
I've only dated one person at a time. Personally, I like to give one person at a time my undivided attention.
3. What made your worst kiss so bad?
The fact that he seemed to want to choke me with his tongue and drown me with saliva. EW. That, and there was no feeling in it - just his serious inability.
4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad?
It could if you never want to have sex again. Or if the relationship is open. Otherwise, it is not a complete relationship.
5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have sex with them?
Occasionally grab a handful of hair close to the scalp and squeeze. It sends shivers up my spine just thinking about it.
Take his time and not think about it. Diabetics eventually come to.. um... an unhappy situation. If he is too busy concentrating on me, then neither of us is having fun.
Be willing to try new things, without fear of what I will think of him.
Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
It used to be my ass-length hair, and legs that go up and make an ass of themselves.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Mute Monday 6 - The City
There's a butterfly in there... It's not just a tree!
A great day for a ball game
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Unconcious Mutterings
Here's the deal. Head over to Unconsious Mutterings and get the list of words. Then play word association (and it doesn't have to be one word answers!). Leave her a comment so she can come see what you wrote!
When she says.. :: You say...
When she says.. :: You say...
- Uneven :: My eighth grade teacher had uneven boobs.
- Wonder :: Woman rocks!!
- Spider :: don't kill it! they eat other bugs and it's bad luck to kill a spider.
- Emma :: is a girls name
- Swing :: is a form of dancing that my wife Dollie likes
- Orbit :: the moon orbits the earth which orbits the sun
- Flirt :: it's fun!
- Donation :: is what I need right now.
- Veil :: of night slowly draws across the day, leaving us in darkness
- Atmosphere :: up in the air
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Saturday Special ~Personal Preferences~
1. Quiet evening at home or Out on the town?:
If the weather is nice and I am with a bunch of friends - a night on the town
Crappy weather is for stayin' in bed
2. Watch a movie or Reading a good book?:
If the offspring are around - a good "clean" movie. Like Hostel. I'm kidding!! Even though they are teens, we own a lot of Disney movies - I can't get enough of them!
3. Order a meal or Cooking one yourself?:
Definitely cook it myself. I love to cook, but don't always have the time. Besides, when I cook I can control what goes into the food. With a diabetic person, and another with tons of food allergies I gotta watch what they eat.
4. Going for a walk or Taking a ride in the car?:
Going for a walk, so that I can stop and take pictures. Going for a ride is okay sometimes, but the scenery goes by too fast.
If the weather is nice and I am with a bunch of friends - a night on the town
Crappy weather is for stayin' in bed
2. Watch a movie or Reading a good book?:
If the offspring are around - a good "clean" movie. Like Hostel. I'm kidding!! Even though they are teens, we own a lot of Disney movies - I can't get enough of them!
3. Order a meal or Cooking one yourself?:
Definitely cook it myself. I love to cook, but don't always have the time. Besides, when I cook I can control what goes into the food. With a diabetic person, and another with tons of food allergies I gotta watch what they eat.
4. Going for a walk or Taking a ride in the car?:
Going for a walk, so that I can stop and take pictures. Going for a ride is okay sometimes, but the scenery goes by too fast.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Shut UP.
I hate it when I am on the laptop, and it is plain to everyone that I am typing and not paying attention to anything but the laptop. It's plain to everyone but the DNA sponsor. OH. MY. GOD. I've read my comments, read Jon's answers, started this post and read War and Peace. The whole time, he is yammering at me, telling me stories that I've already heard a million times.
Okay. Had to finish getting dinner, and I burned my hand because DNA was in the way trying to help. My kitchen is very small because the house that I live in used to be the servant's quarters way back when. It was built for 2, maybe 3 people. Not 5 people, a cat and formerly a greyhound.
The first floor has the galley kitchen and 2 car garage. The second floor has the living room, dining room, and both kids rooms. The third floor is my room, because I have the most crap. :)
But that's not why I wanted to post tonight. I was going to tell you all about having lunch with my friend Rockabilly Red. I love good food, good friends and great conversations. I love her hair, it's so shiny and soft, and I love it when she wears it down (which isnt too often). She had surgery not too long ago, and today was her first trip out of the house by herself. And she spent it with me!
And I can't wait for my sweetie Dollie to get back from her trip. I miss her so much. She is lewd, crude, stewed, screwed and tattooed! So hot. She is the perkiest girl I know, even though she is going through a boatload of shit right now with her baby's father.
.........
Okay. Had to finish getting dinner, and I burned my hand because DNA was in the way trying to help. My kitchen is very small because the house that I live in used to be the servant's quarters way back when. It was built for 2, maybe 3 people. Not 5 people, a cat and formerly a greyhound.
The first floor has the galley kitchen and 2 car garage. The second floor has the living room, dining room, and both kids rooms. The third floor is my room, because I have the most crap. :)
But that's not why I wanted to post tonight. I was going to tell you all about having lunch with my friend Rockabilly Red. I love good food, good friends and great conversations. I love her hair, it's so shiny and soft, and I love it when she wears it down (which isnt too often). She had surgery not too long ago, and today was her first trip out of the house by herself. And she spent it with me!
And I can't wait for my sweetie Dollie to get back from her trip. I miss her so much. She is lewd, crude, stewed, screwed and tattooed! So hot. She is the perkiest girl I know, even though she is going through a boatload of shit right now with her baby's father.
Superhero Classifications
What makes a superhero? Is it superpowers, genetics or just dumb luck?
(I am just going by what was presented on Marvel and DC Comics' sites.)
Wonder Woman - genetically blessed by Goddesses with her Powers.
Superman gets his Powers from our Sun.
Spiderman - genetic alteration via radioactive spider bite.
Incredible Hulk - genetic alteration via gamma rays
Green Lantern - powered by the ring, given to him by an alien
Captain America - genetic alteration
Wolverine - genetic (although I thought it was an alteration. and NONE of the Mutants can be counted as anything but genetic)
Batman - has no super powers, but has super gadgets (don't be mad AR, I aint dissin the Bat!)
Don't get me wrong - I love superheroes because they have a sense of right and will provide the community with a great service for years to come. But with the exception of Wonder Woman and Batman, they either need some sort of external stimuli to exist or have been genetically altered.
(I am just going by what was presented on Marvel and DC Comics' sites.)
Wonder Woman - genetically blessed by Goddesses with her Powers.
Superman gets his Powers from our Sun.
Spiderman - genetic alteration via radioactive spider bite.
Incredible Hulk - genetic alteration via gamma rays
Green Lantern - powered by the ring, given to him by an alien
Captain America - genetic alteration
Wolverine - genetic (although I thought it was an alteration. and NONE of the Mutants can be counted as anything but genetic)
Batman - has no super powers, but has super gadgets (don't be mad AR, I aint dissin the Bat!)
Don't get me wrong - I love superheroes because they have a sense of right and will provide the community with a great service for years to come. But with the exception of Wonder Woman and Batman, they either need some sort of external stimuli to exist or have been genetically altered.
Mumbler!!
My friend/co-worker, S is a low talker.
As defined by Jerry Seinfeld, a "Low Talker" is
Don't get me wrong, S is very sweet and kind. I just wish she would speak up.
As defined by Jerry Seinfeld, a "Low Talker" is
- a woman who speaks in a very low (sometimes sub-sonic) voice
- a woman who speaks in a low, inaudible tone in order to trick some-body into wearing a funny looking shirt on a nationally televised talk show
Don't get me wrong, S is very sweet and kind. I just wish she would speak up.
Friday Feast 157
Appetizer
Say there’s a book written about your life. Who would you want to narrate the audio version?
I'd want James Earl Jones to narrate it. It would probably be a boring story, but his voice would make it all better!
Soup
Take the letters from your favorite kind of nut and write a sentence. (Example: Perhaps every avenue needs understanding today.)
Bats rally around zebras in leather.
Salad
If you could go back in time and spend one week in another decade, which decade would you choose?
I'd go back to the 60's and make sure my parents never met.
Main Course
Name a song that brings back memories for you.
3 Libras by A Perfect Circle
Dessert
Do you prefer to wash your hands in cold water or warm water?
I prefer cold water in the summer, and warm water in the winter.
Say there’s a book written about your life. Who would you want to narrate the audio version?
I'd want James Earl Jones to narrate it. It would probably be a boring story, but his voice would make it all better!
Soup
Take the letters from your favorite kind of nut and write a sentence. (Example: Perhaps every avenue needs understanding today.)
Bats rally around zebras in leather.
Salad
If you could go back in time and spend one week in another decade, which decade would you choose?
I'd go back to the 60's and make sure my parents never met.
Main Course
Name a song that brings back memories for you.
3 Libras by A Perfect Circle
Dessert
Do you prefer to wash your hands in cold water or warm water?
I prefer cold water in the summer, and warm water in the winter.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Mental Notes
I always think of really great topics to blog about. They range from corny shit like superhero classifications to serious things like finding Joy in life.
I keep thinking that I should write this stuff down when I think of it, but I don't. So I figured why not write it down in the place where I want to have them. On the blog! DUH. (feel free to throw in some ideas)
I keep thinking that I should write this stuff down when I think of it, but I don't. So I figured why not write it down in the place where I want to have them. On the blog! DUH. (feel free to throw in some ideas)
superhero classifications (what makes a superhero a superhero? superman, spiderman, batman)- female superhero everyday issues (hormones and such)
- how indecision drives me batshit
- disappointment at my son
- joy vs happiness
Tag! I'm it!!
Apparently, if I am tagged I have to do it. I've never been tagged before. I feel so special! And this is exactly what I need right now. M says that I've been on an even keel since starting my happy pills, but right now I feel like I am sinking. I love things like this because they are fun, silly, and help me think about other things than what is bothering me.
Amorous Rocker tagged me (that little vixen!)
*What side of the heart do you draw first?
The right side.
*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
No. I can't swim very well. I know what I need to do to swim, I'm just not coordinated enough to get it all together and do anything more than sink.
*What color is your phone?
My home phone is gunmetal grey. My cell is silver and light blue.
*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Johnny Depp, so I can enjoy somebondage bonding time.
*Where are you right now?
At work.
*How do you feel about carrots?
I like them. I just prefer them shredded in salad or cooked in soup, just not out of a can. EW
*How many chairs at the dining room table?
There is a table in my dining room, but we don't dine there. My DNA sponsor uses it for his computer, so 1 chair there.
*Who is the best Spice Girl?
I'd have to say none of them, I didn't like their "music". Although those pics Posh and Becks did for W magazine were pretty hot (even if she is too skinny)
*Do you know what time it is?
8:07 am.
*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Alone - scream, text people to come rescue me if I had signal. Then freak out and think about that stupid "Worst Scenario" game that T used to play and get on the floor on my stomach in case the elevator dropped.
Not Alone - Quietly freak out in the corner, text people to come rescue me.
With M - give the security guards a really good show (work elevators are video taped)
*What's your favorite kind of gum?
I don't chew gum anymore, but it used to be Grape Bubblicious, then Ice Breakers.
*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
False, sometimes the end doesn't justify the means. (I'm keeping AR's answer, who kept WO's answer)
*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to?
No. Why look like an idiot that's trying to be smart?
*Do you like to sleep?
Yes, I love sleep. I can't get enough of it.
*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings?
I do now, thanks to AR. :D Arizona and Hawaii.
*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down?
Nope. Cuz it's not a Godsmack song.
*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
Nope. Any car that I am going to drive is going to be black or silver. Definitely not Candy Apple Red. I HATE that particular shade. I also HATE 4 door Chevy Cavaliers.
*What's something you've always wanted?
A pet monkey
*Do you wear a lot of black?
Yup, mostly at work. (I was going to blog about that too!)
*Describe your hair.
Short (barely touches my shoulders), wavy, in desperate need of a cut and stupid brown. Blah.
*Are you an adult?
Only by age.
*Who is/are your best friends?
The ones who are there for me whenever I need them.
*Do you have a tan?
Yup.
*Are you a television addict?
Not anymore. I was when I was a kid. I just don't have time to watch TV anymore, and starting in September I will be missing House, NCIS and CSI because of classes. (AR - keep me filled in on House, OK?)
*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
Not lately.
*Are you a sugar freak?
I used to be, but my sweet tooth has calmed down quite a bit in the past few years.
*What is your favorite movie?
The Fifth Element, Bubble Boy (Jake Gyllenhaal)
*What's your sign?
Leo RAWR!!
*Where do you wish you were right now?
Salem, Massachusetts.
*Who did you copy this from?
Amorous Rocker
*How do you know them?
The blogosphere.
*Would you have sex with them?
That's a bit difficult to accomplish
*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
Um.. Target brand? Sometimes black button-up shirts are hard to find, so I have to get them where I can find them.
*Have you ever smoked anything?
Yep.
I have to tag 3 people. I pick Bunny, Artful Sub and Jon. (don't hate me okay?) Now you have to do it! :p I also tag anyone else who wants to do it too. Just leave a comment so I can come and read your answers. :p
Amorous Rocker tagged me (that little vixen!)
*What side of the heart do you draw first?
The right side.
*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
No. I can't swim very well. I know what I need to do to swim, I'm just not coordinated enough to get it all together and do anything more than sink.
*What color is your phone?
My home phone is gunmetal grey. My cell is silver and light blue.
*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Johnny Depp, so I can enjoy some
*Where are you right now?
At work.
*How do you feel about carrots?
I like them. I just prefer them shredded in salad or cooked in soup, just not out of a can. EW
*How many chairs at the dining room table?
There is a table in my dining room, but we don't dine there. My DNA sponsor uses it for his computer, so 1 chair there.
*Who is the best Spice Girl?
I'd have to say none of them, I didn't like their "music". Although those pics Posh and Becks did for W magazine were pretty hot (even if she is too skinny)
*Do you know what time it is?
8:07 am.
*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Alone - scream, text people to come rescue me if I had signal. Then freak out and think about that stupid "Worst Scenario" game that T used to play and get on the floor on my stomach in case the elevator dropped.
Not Alone - Quietly freak out in the corner, text people to come rescue me.
With M - give the security guards a really good show (work elevators are video taped)
*What's your favorite kind of gum?
I don't chew gum anymore, but it used to be Grape Bubblicious, then Ice Breakers.
*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
False, sometimes the end doesn't justify the means. (I'm keeping AR's answer, who kept WO's answer)
*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to?
No. Why look like an idiot that's trying to be smart?
*Do you like to sleep?
Yes, I love sleep. I can't get enough of it.
*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings?
I do now, thanks to AR. :D Arizona and Hawaii.
*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down?
Nope. Cuz it's not a Godsmack song.
*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
Nope. Any car that I am going to drive is going to be black or silver. Definitely not Candy Apple Red. I HATE that particular shade. I also HATE 4 door Chevy Cavaliers.
*What's something you've always wanted?
A pet monkey
*Do you wear a lot of black?
Yup, mostly at work. (I was going to blog about that too!)
*Describe your hair.
Short (barely touches my shoulders), wavy, in desperate need of a cut and stupid brown. Blah.
*Are you an adult?
Only by age.
*Who is/are your best friends?
The ones who are there for me whenever I need them.
*Do you have a tan?
Yup.
*Are you a television addict?
Not anymore. I was when I was a kid. I just don't have time to watch TV anymore, and starting in September I will be missing House, NCIS and CSI because of classes. (AR - keep me filled in on House, OK?)
*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
Not lately.
*Are you a sugar freak?
I used to be, but my sweet tooth has calmed down quite a bit in the past few years.
*What is your favorite movie?
The Fifth Element, Bubble Boy (Jake Gyllenhaal)
*What's your sign?
Leo RAWR!!
*Where do you wish you were right now?
Salem, Massachusetts.
*Who did you copy this from?
Amorous Rocker
*How do you know them?
The blogosphere.
*Would you have sex with them?
That's a bit difficult to accomplish
*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
Um.. Target brand? Sometimes black button-up shirts are hard to find, so I have to get them where I can find them.
*Have you ever smoked anything?
Yep.
I have to tag 3 people. I pick Bunny, Artful Sub and Jon. (don't hate me okay?) Now you have to do it! :p I also tag anyone else who wants to do it too. Just leave a comment so I can come and read your answers. :p
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
TMI Tuesday #97
You know you want to play....Head over to TMI Tuesday and copy the questions to your own space. Leave the nice folks a comment about where you left your answers. Or just post your answers in the comment
1. What’s the deal with blue balls?
Well, I think they are baboon or pirate monkey nuts. It happens when they get over-exhausted from peeling bananas with their minds.
2. What is the hottest vehicular sex scene in a movie?
I'd have to say the almost sex scene from "Gone in 60 seconds" (because I can't think of any others and Nicolas Cage is hot)
3. Strap-on? yes, no, give, receive?
Never tried one. I guess I'd give it a try.
4. What is the average penis length?
I think most are about 5-7 inches. I've seen quite a few that should have been in a zoo in the snake pits.
5. How do you stimulate his prostate? Guys, do you like it?
M doesn't really go for that - at least he never asked me. He sometimes doesnt even like it when I pinch his ass. WTF.
Bonus (as in optional): Confession Tuesday... tell me a secret!
I don't think I am sexy.
Edited to add: I have never had sex with a woman.
1. What’s the deal with blue balls?
Well, I think they are baboon or pirate monkey nuts. It happens when they get over-exhausted from peeling bananas with their minds.
2. What is the hottest vehicular sex scene in a movie?
I'd have to say the almost sex scene from "Gone in 60 seconds" (because I can't think of any others and Nicolas Cage is hot)
3. Strap-on? yes, no, give, receive?
Never tried one. I guess I'd give it a try.
4. What is the average penis length?
I think most are about 5-7 inches. I've seen quite a few that should have been in a zoo in the snake pits.
5. How do you stimulate his prostate? Guys, do you like it?
M doesn't really go for that - at least he never asked me. He sometimes doesnt even like it when I pinch his ass. WTF.
Bonus (as in optional): Confession Tuesday... tell me a secret!
I don't think I am sexy.
Edited to add: I have never had sex with a woman.
Late Mute Monday 5 - Food and Beverage
I'm slightly off-center this week. I don't know if it is because I missed a happy pill over the weekend or because I was at training last week. Actually, I think it's because I'm actually doing work! (EWWWWWWWWW)
Straight to you from the "360 Restaurant" located at the top of the CN Tower in Toronto:
Menu cover
Straight to you from the "360 Restaurant" located at the top of the CN Tower in Toronto:
Menu cover
Roasted Parsnip and Apple Soup (sounds and kinda looks gross, but sooo gooood!!)
Ice cream with cherries and some kind of sauce. The triangle looking thing was phyllo pastry. It was so yummy!!
Some loverly images from the Internet
Monday, August 20, 2007
Late Unconcious Mutterings
Here's the deal. Head over to Unconsious Mutterings and get the list of words. Then play word association (and it doesn't have to be one word answers!). Leave her a comment so she can come see what you wrote!
When she says.. ::You say...
When she says.. ::You say...
- Darling :: babies are darling
- Majesty :: is a fancy word that you don't use everyday
- Pebble :: in a stream
- Fate :: can be harsh
- Instant :: potatoes! YUM
- Screen :: resolution is measured in pixels, not pixies.
- Unplugged :: is the cord that is too short
- Dairy :: farmers have cows
- Benefactor :: is a nice person
- Market :: to market to buy a fat pig
Friday, August 17, 2007
My Girl Jessie
It's final. She let us know that she was ready. She stopped eating. She stopped drinking. She couldnt even get up. M carried her out to the yard where she started to shake (like dogs do after a bath) and she just fell over.
He made the appointment for 9:45 this morning. I had to be at work today, but for her I ran to the vets office to be with them. This is M's first dog and he took it really hard when they gave her the shot. I had forgotten how quickly that stuff works. The only other time I have ever seen him cry that hard was when his father died.
He made the appointment for 9:45 this morning. I had to be at work today, but for her I ran to the vets office to be with them. This is M's first dog and he took it really hard when they gave her the shot. I had forgotten how quickly that stuff works. The only other time I have ever seen him cry that hard was when his father died.
I should not have taken that last look before leaving the room. I looked her in the eye, and could not see the light that always shined in her eyes. She is going to go hang out with my FIL and run and play and eat all kinds of cookies and chocolate. Yes, she loved chocolate. I know it is supposed to be bad for dogs, but nothing ever happened to her.
Late Happy Hump Day!
What a great way to celebrate Wednesday!
Today's topic is Sit Back and Relax Day.
1. Name a few things that help you relax.
Crafting, playing Tomb Raider
2. Name a few songs that help you relax.
I like those meditation/relaxation songs which are basically classical music or natural sounds like the ocean waves or birds
3. Where do you like to relax?
I like to be outside, but it has to be relatively quiet like a park or the woods. Since I live in a city, wooded areas are a bit sparse.
4. What is your ultimate relaxation situation?
A nice full-body massage after a nice hot shower, followed by M feeding me strawberries with whip cream and chocolates.
Today's topic is Sit Back and Relax Day.
1. Name a few things that help you relax.
Crafting, playing Tomb Raider
2. Name a few songs that help you relax.
I like those meditation/relaxation songs which are basically classical music or natural sounds like the ocean waves or birds
3. Where do you like to relax?
I like to be outside, but it has to be relatively quiet like a park or the woods. Since I live in a city, wooded areas are a bit sparse.
4. What is your ultimate relaxation situation?
A nice full-body massage after a nice hot shower, followed by M feeding me strawberries with whip cream and chocolates.
Late TMI Tuesday #96
You know you want to play....Head over to TMI Tuesday and copy the questions to your own space. Leave the nice folks a comment about where you left your answers. Or just post your answers in the comment!
1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship. Have you ever been guilty of infidelity? Have you ever been the victim of infidelity? Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity?
Infidelity: A conscious decision to repeatedly disrespect your SO by having sex with and having emotional feelings for another person, while lying to your SO. According to my definition, I am only half guilty of it. My friend T said that there is also emotional infidelity. (That's a story for another day) Yes, I have been a "victim". See part 1 and part 2 I'll admit that I did try to hook up one of M's (married) friends with one of my single ones. That was long before I went through my experience and I am ashamed that I was condoning that kinds of behavior.
2. What is the last thing you stole?
Not counting pens from the office... That would have to be pens from Woolworth's when I was about 12 or 13. The manager caught me and threatened to tell my mom and that was enough for me. Never stole anything again.
3. Name one place in your country that you have never been but would like to visit and why.
I'd like to go to Hawaii because they have pineapple. :)
4. What movies can you watch over and over again?
Friday, Bubble Boy (Jake Gyllenhaal), The Fifth Element, Star Wars "Trilogy" (you know, the "original" ones),
5. Who is the last person you saw naked?
Myself, and M before that.
Bonus (as in optional): In honor of the 237 reasons we have sex study. Tell us at least five but not more than ten reason you have had sex.
1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship. Have you ever been guilty of infidelity? Have you ever been the victim of infidelity? Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity?
Infidelity: A conscious decision to repeatedly disrespect your SO by having sex with and having emotional feelings for another person, while lying to your SO. According to my definition, I am only half guilty of it. My friend T said that there is also emotional infidelity. (That's a story for another day) Yes, I have been a "victim". See part 1 and part 2 I'll admit that I did try to hook up one of M's (married) friends with one of my single ones. That was long before I went through my experience and I am ashamed that I was condoning that kinds of behavior.
2. What is the last thing you stole?
Not counting pens from the office... That would have to be pens from Woolworth's when I was about 12 or 13. The manager caught me and threatened to tell my mom and that was enough for me. Never stole anything again.
3. Name one place in your country that you have never been but would like to visit and why.
I'd like to go to Hawaii because they have pineapple. :)
4. What movies can you watch over and over again?
Friday, Bubble Boy (Jake Gyllenhaal), The Fifth Element, Star Wars "Trilogy" (you know, the "original" ones),
5. Who is the last person you saw naked?
Myself, and M before that.
Bonus (as in optional): In honor of the 237 reasons we have sex study. Tell us at least five but not more than ten reason you have had sex.
- Because it feels pretty damn good.
- Because I am horny.
- Because I love him.
- Because I wanted to please him.
- Because I read some erotic stories
- Because I got a full body massage
Ketchup
I am horrible at telling jokes, so I usually try to make it quick. I love that corny one from Pulp Fiction: "A mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato are walking down the street. The baby tomato starts lagging behind, so the daddy tomato goes back and squishes him and says 'Ketchup'
_________________________________________________________
Quick flashback to the weekend:
How many family members does it take to bathe a baby? The answer is 3. One to hold the baby, one to wash her top half and one to wash the bottom half. Babies can be very slippery! We discovered that we are waaaaaaay out of practice.
I also found out that one of my aunts died of lung cancer last year. No one in the family could find her for quite few years. We can't even tell my grandmother because it might stress her heart too much.
_________________________________________________________
Training
Tuesday - Day 1: It was okay. They didn't give us breakfast, and lunch was less than spectacular (pizza & wings)
Me and the fam went to Cold Stone for my (belated) birthday ice cream. I love it when they sing. I can remember the first time I went to Cold Stone. I was so excited that I had goosebumps, and when they sang a song I started crying because I was so happy! I know - freaking corny. But it's little things that make me happy sometimes.
On the way home, we saw a mama deer and a baby deer. They were grazing, totally oblivious to the tons of traffic that was less 80 feet away from them. I tried to make a video, but it came out too dark.
Wednesday - Day 2: Had a migraine all day, so bad that I snoozed during the presentations. Took some Tylenol, but it didn't help. Lunch was a boxed lunch. Tuna sandwich on rye, and a cookie.
Thursday - Day 3: Got a bad text during training. Jessie won't eat or drink. She can't even get up.
_________________________________________________________
Quick flashback to the weekend:
How many family members does it take to bathe a baby? The answer is 3. One to hold the baby, one to wash her top half and one to wash the bottom half. Babies can be very slippery! We discovered that we are waaaaaaay out of practice.
I also found out that one of my aunts died of lung cancer last year. No one in the family could find her for quite few years. We can't even tell my grandmother because it might stress her heart too much.
_________________________________________________________
Training
Tuesday - Day 1: It was okay. They didn't give us breakfast, and lunch was less than spectacular (pizza & wings)
Me and the fam went to Cold Stone for my (belated) birthday ice cream. I love it when they sing. I can remember the first time I went to Cold Stone. I was so excited that I had goosebumps, and when they sang a song I started crying because I was so happy! I know - freaking corny. But it's little things that make me happy sometimes.
On the way home, we saw a mama deer and a baby deer. They were grazing, totally oblivious to the tons of traffic that was less 80 feet away from them. I tried to make a video, but it came out too dark.
Wednesday - Day 2: Had a migraine all day, so bad that I snoozed during the presentations. Took some Tylenol, but it didn't help. Lunch was a boxed lunch. Tuna sandwich on rye, and a cookie.
Thursday - Day 3: Got a bad text during training. Jessie won't eat or drink. She can't even get up.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
All play and no work...
eventually catches up to you.
Hello, my sweets. I am going to be missing for a few days due to yearly training for work. I'm going to miss you all!!
Love and Kisses,
Me
Hello, my sweets. I am going to be missing for a few days due to yearly training for work. I'm going to miss you all!!
Love and Kisses,
Me
Monday, August 13, 2007
Mute Monday 4 - Just Say No
Pictures worth a thousand volumes: Ms. Place has posted the most wonderfully thought-out images for today's Mute Monday. Stop by and check it out.
Just say No!
Because
Crack Kills!!!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Unconscious Mutterings
Here's the deal. Head over to Unconsious Mutterings and get the list of words. Then play word association (and it doesn't have to be one word answers!). Leave her a comment so she can come see what you wrote!
When she says.. :: You say...
When she says.. :: You say...
- Voyage :: to the center of the Earth
- Patricia :: works at the Corporate office
- Transformation :: does not happen overnight
- Vocabulary :: is what makes the blog go 'round
- San Francisco :: has a great zoo, from what I hear
- Edward :: Scissorhands starred Johnny Depp
- Sawyer :: is HOT HOT HOT!!!
- Literary :: genius I am not
- Tiger :: big cuddly kitty
- Seal :: babies are cute
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Get outta the club!!
I am so angry right now. I decided to return to school for a second degree. Yay me! But I knew there would be a "hidden" price to pay, since I also work for the school I am attending. Well, that ugly price has shown itself.
I just finished my first semester, and also joined a club. I helped to run one of the biggest events held on campus. I was just recently elected as one of the Secretaries, and paid my national membership dues.
Management has asked me to resign the position, as well as the membership. They say it is a "conflict of interest". That students may not feel entirely comfortable with speaking freely in my presence.
And just to add salt to the wound, while I was talking to M about it he blew it off like it wasn't important. Thanks for your support asshole.
I just finished my first semester, and also joined a club. I helped to run one of the biggest events held on campus. I was just recently elected as one of the Secretaries, and paid my national membership dues.
Management has asked me to resign the position, as well as the membership. They say it is a "conflict of interest". That students may not feel entirely comfortable with speaking freely in my presence.
And just to add salt to the wound, while I was talking to M about it he blew it off like it wasn't important. Thanks for your support asshole.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Happy Hump Day!!
What a great way to celebrate Wednesday!
Today's topic is Refrigerator Day.
List ten random things in your refrigerator.
Today's topic is Refrigerator Day.
List ten random things in your refrigerator.
- Milk
- Eggs
- Romaine lettuce
- Fresh cucumbers from my little garden
- Vanilla chai soy drink
- Miracle Whip
- Big pitcher of water
- Grape tomatoes
- Carrots
- Broccoli
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
No Card for You!
I hate getting new medical and dental insurance. I just called the new dental company (for the Fourth time) to get a plastic card instead of the stupid paper one they sent me. They sent a paper one because "You haven't selected a provider yet."
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
This is the fifth time that I've selected my provider. I have been a patient of this dentist for quite a while now, and am very comfortable with his service. Only today have I found out the real reason for the delay in the plastic card - my dentist was not accepting any new patients with this particular insurance. Lady 1 is the first person to tell me this. She said she would look into it and call me back tomorrow.
I had to call the dentist's office because M was on his way for an appointment. Luckily, the office manager was there and she knew the sitch. She said I was already approved and could stay a patient, but the insurance company had to call for the approval.
Call the insurance company back - Lady 2 told me that it was taken care of and I should be getting a new card in 7-10 days.
Stupid insurance company.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
This is the fifth time that I've selected my provider. I have been a patient of this dentist for quite a while now, and am very comfortable with his service. Only today have I found out the real reason for the delay in the plastic card - my dentist was not accepting any new patients with this particular insurance. Lady 1 is the first person to tell me this. She said she would look into it and call me back tomorrow.
I had to call the dentist's office because M was on his way for an appointment. Luckily, the office manager was there and she knew the sitch. She said I was already approved and could stay a patient, but the insurance company had to call for the approval.
Call the insurance company back - Lady 2 told me that it was taken care of and I should be getting a new card in 7-10 days.
Stupid insurance company.
TMI Tuesday #95
You know you want to play....Head over to TMI Tuesday and copy the questions to your own space. Leave the nice folks a comment about where you left your answers. Or just post your answers in the comment!
1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?
The time that I was dressed as a tiger for a halloween party. Every guy kept saying "Here kitty, kitty" or "Me - OW". Even M had one - "Can I pet the nice pussy?"
I have never used a pickup line.
2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.
No, I've never done that.
3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it?
I think the worst thing I ever did to a friend was take her $7. She didn't deserve to have it taken from her, and I don't even know why I did it. I've made up for it since then.
4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why?
Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas in Original Sin, because (even though I am mad at her) she is hot and she looked like she was really enjoying herself.
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What would you change on your SO?
I'd change lots of things. But first and foremost would be my smile.
For M, I'd change the fact that he's diabetic.
Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country?
I've had sex in Canada, and the Bahamas. It was with M both places.
1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?
The time that I was dressed as a tiger for a halloween party. Every guy kept saying "Here kitty, kitty" or "Me - OW". Even M had one - "Can I pet the nice pussy?"
I have never used a pickup line.
2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.
No, I've never done that.
3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it?
I think the worst thing I ever did to a friend was take her $7. She didn't deserve to have it taken from her, and I don't even know why I did it. I've made up for it since then.
4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why?
Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas in Original Sin, because (even though I am mad at her) she is hot and she looked like she was really enjoying herself.
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What would you change on your SO?
I'd change lots of things. But first and foremost would be my smile.
For M, I'd change the fact that he's diabetic.
Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country?
I've had sex in Canada, and the Bahamas. It was with M both places.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Glue
Little kids are weird. I'm living proof. My parents like to tell stories about me when I was a kid. One involves glue. Apparently, me and some other girl saw older kids sniffing glue.
I don't know what possessed us, because I honestly do not remember doing this. Instead of sniffing the glue, we ate it.
I don't know what possessed us, because I honestly do not remember doing this. Instead of sniffing the glue, we ate it.
Mute Monday 3 - Zip
I totally forgot what today's subject was... I found this on the internet. Not too original, I know.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Unconcious Mutterings
Here's the deal. Head over to Unconsious Mutterings and get the list of words. Then play word association (and it doesn't have to be one word answers!). Leave her a comment so she can come see what you wrote!
When she says.. :: You say...
When she says.. :: You say...
- Voices :: in my head
- Have to :: work, not blog
- Machine :: full of coffee in the morning
- Seventh grade :: was stupid
- Beach :: sand gets in all the cracks
- Roommate :: was a neat freak
- Cyclone :: moves your house
- Theater :: great place to make out
- Pregnant :: big as a house
- Phoebe :: Cates was in Drop Dead Fred
Saturday, August 4, 2007
The Story behind the Kiki - Part 2
Part 1
So I'd done the digging. I had a name and phone number. I got an address via switchboard.com. I had no clue who this woman was, so I called in a favor from my friend Z. She has the ability to access certain information and she told me where this woman worked.
With my husband.
Now I knew who it was. I remember thinking "No fucking way. It can't be her. No. Fucking. Way." Unfortunately, I was at work when I found out. I went out front, to talk to my friend T. Everyone thought I was having a heart attack because I was so red.
I didn't know what to do. I could never understand how a woman would want to be with a man who cheated. That line about "I still love him" just never sat right with me. How could you love someone that couldn't be faithful? I'd made a choice about that when I was younger. That I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me.
Yet, here I was in that exact situation. I knew I had to talk to him about it, knowing that NO time was a good time. And I definitely didn't want the kids around when I did. A few weeks went by, and a chance presented itself. New Year's Eve (which is also my son's birthday). I sent the kids next door to L's house.
Me: "What is this?", handing him the receipt.
M: "Looks like a receipt.", attempting to hand it back.
Me: "Look at it closer."
M: "It's for a dozen roses."
Me: "That I never got."
M: "I forgot them at the bar."
Me: "So you're telling me that you went out, bought roses at 8:43 PM, just to forget them at the bar?"
M: "Yes. I thought you'd like them."
Me: "Am I supposed to believe that you would buy flowers, just to carry them around all night long? You sat at the bar with roses? While you drank? Is that what I'm supposed to believe?"
(No answer from M)
Me: "Well, I hope SkankWhore liked them. Or should I call her Skank?" (obviously not her real name)
He swore up and down they were for me, but the whole time he is telling me this he cannot look me in the eye. He tells me that he would leave me before he hurt me like that. LIAR. Things went downhill even faster after that.
Super Bowl Sunday. He had asked me to cook a few special things to eat while watching the game. While I am cooking, he decides that he is going out to watch the game. Mother fucker. So now, I have to lie to my kids about why I am crying. I hate lying.
I have a tendency to overanalyze things. I think and think and think and think.... I also used to have a tendency to overreact to things, and just let my anger take over, exploding on whoever was nearby. I couldn't take that path. I decided that the "It's all his fault" approach was wrong. But I'd be damned if I was going to take all the blame. And she was going to take her fair share as well. So I told him how his actions made me feel, and that I wanted to work to fix this marriage. I recognized the fact that I have a third of the blame for this mess. I told him that they were not to call each other, or see each other.
He kept insisting they were just friends, and that nothing was going on between them. I was doing my best to keep it together. I didn't want my kids to know what was going on. They noticed, and even asked if we were going to get divorced.
Valentine's Day. I drop about $400 on a "romance" package at a local hotel. Meanwhile, his company is moving to a different building about a mile away. The next morning, he decides that he needs to be there to help pack stuff and move.
I had myself tested for STDs. Those few weeks were horrible. I kept wondering who I was going to kill first if I had anything. Everything came back clean. I told him he was damn lucky, and he seemed surprised that I had myself tested. I'd found a spot from my office building to watch him leave his (he worked on the next block). I decided to pay a visit to the parking ramp where she parked her car, since he was still getting rides home. I waited in a corner stairwell, waited til I saw them go by and followed them. They were in the car when I stepped in behind it. What if she doesn't see me standing here?
WHAM!! My hand slams down on the trunk of her car. They jump out of their skin. He slowly looks back... I point at him, then to the floor next to me. I tell him that I don't understand why he keeps doing this to us, and that if it is me to just tell me. He grabs my hand as we walk and tells me that he wants me to be who I am. I stop, pull my hand away "But I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know up from down. I don't eat, I can't sleep. All I can think of is this fucking mess."
After we got home, we started talking. He said he felt like I was on a witch hunt, looking for something that wasn't there. "I'm looking because you won't talk to me and tell me the truth."
Finally, a day came when I had iron-clad, squirm-proof evidence that he had cheated. R, a younger neighbor who looked up to M stopped by to see him, but he was out again. R asked why I was upset and I told him. He told me he had seen M getting into her car. A block away from my house. And that he had seen him kiss her.
That was it. Fuck this shit, I can't take it any more. The next day, we were supposed to go to M's sister's house for a birthday party. I asked him how many times had he gotten into her car, leaned over and kissed her. "A lot" was his answer. I asked him how many times he fucked her. "Enough" was his answer. "How. Many. Times. Did. You. Fuck. Her?", I very menacingly asked. "Two to three times a month." I removed my ring, threw it at him and told him to go to his sister's party and leave me the fuck alone. When asked if he loved her, he said he didn't feel the same about her as he did me. What a bullshit answer.
Two days later, I leave work early. I wait outside his new building. Co-workers start leaving for the day. Here comes Skank. She tries to go around me. "Oh, no. You and I have to talk." I ask her if she has any morals at all, because she knew he was married with children. Called her a sad excuse of a woman, because she couldn't find a man of her own. Told her that she could piss me off all she wanted to, but she was hurting my kids and I WAS NOT GOING TO HAVE THAT. (I started yelling at this point) I didn't give a crap that everyone they worked with knew they were fucking. One lady wanted to call the police on me. Good thing she didn't because then I would have nothing else to lose. I asked when is the last time she fucked my husband and her answer pissed me off even more. I told her that I was done with her, and that it was her lucky day because "I'm going to let you live." As she turned away from me, I spit on her.
I turn towards M, and start beating the hell out of him. I told him to take our daughter to this event she had, then get the fuck out of my house.
When he got back, he started packing a bag. That was the only point during this whole thing that I was actually scared to let him leave. I told him not to go. He suggested counseling, and even made the appointment.
You might be wondering why I put up with all of this shit. We had 13 years of marriage and two kids. I didn't stay with him because of the kids. Hell, I didn't even marry him because of them. I didn't stay with him because I was scared to be alone. We went to counseling, and both learned new things about ourselves and each other. I stayed with him because he finally showed remorse, accepted his share of the blame and apologized for hurting me. He recognized the fact that he needed me more than I needed him. I've forgiven him, and myself. I don't regret any actions I took, considering how he seemed indifferent about the subject.
In part 1, I mentioned that this was still fresh for me. It's not as fresh as I thought. I actually had to go look at my old journal to remember a few things. When asked why, he gave the following reasons: "I didn't feel loved, appreciated, or wanted." We have learned to open up to each other. More importantly, we've learned how to listen for the unspoken thoughts hiding behind our words.
So I'd done the digging. I had a name and phone number. I got an address via switchboard.com. I had no clue who this woman was, so I called in a favor from my friend Z. She has the ability to access certain information and she told me where this woman worked.
With my husband.
Now I knew who it was. I remember thinking "No fucking way. It can't be her. No. Fucking. Way." Unfortunately, I was at work when I found out. I went out front, to talk to my friend T. Everyone thought I was having a heart attack because I was so red.
I didn't know what to do. I could never understand how a woman would want to be with a man who cheated. That line about "I still love him" just never sat right with me. How could you love someone that couldn't be faithful? I'd made a choice about that when I was younger. That I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me.
Yet, here I was in that exact situation. I knew I had to talk to him about it, knowing that NO time was a good time. And I definitely didn't want the kids around when I did. A few weeks went by, and a chance presented itself. New Year's Eve (which is also my son's birthday). I sent the kids next door to L's house.
Me: "What is this?", handing him the receipt.
M: "Looks like a receipt.", attempting to hand it back.
Me: "Look at it closer."
M: "It's for a dozen roses."
Me: "That I never got."
M: "I forgot them at the bar."
Me: "So you're telling me that you went out, bought roses at 8:43 PM, just to forget them at the bar?"
M: "Yes. I thought you'd like them."
Me: "Am I supposed to believe that you would buy flowers, just to carry them around all night long? You sat at the bar with roses? While you drank? Is that what I'm supposed to believe?"
(No answer from M)
Me: "Well, I hope SkankWhore liked them. Or should I call her Skank?" (obviously not her real name)
He swore up and down they were for me, but the whole time he is telling me this he cannot look me in the eye. He tells me that he would leave me before he hurt me like that. LIAR. Things went downhill even faster after that.
Since I wasn't going to get answers from him, I had to continue digging. I printed his phone records as far back as it allowed me to go. I went through two years worth of calls, using three different colors I highlighted calls to me, to her, and to my house.
Super Bowl Sunday. He had asked me to cook a few special things to eat while watching the game. While I am cooking, he decides that he is going out to watch the game. Mother fucker. So now, I have to lie to my kids about why I am crying. I hate lying.
I have a tendency to overanalyze things. I think and think and think and think.... I also used to have a tendency to overreact to things, and just let my anger take over, exploding on whoever was nearby. I couldn't take that path. I decided that the "It's all his fault" approach was wrong. But I'd be damned if I was going to take all the blame. And she was going to take her fair share as well. So I told him how his actions made me feel, and that I wanted to work to fix this marriage. I recognized the fact that I have a third of the blame for this mess. I told him that they were not to call each other, or see each other.
He kept insisting they were just friends, and that nothing was going on between them. I was doing my best to keep it together. I didn't want my kids to know what was going on. They noticed, and even asked if we were going to get divorced.
Valentine's Day. I drop about $400 on a "romance" package at a local hotel. Meanwhile, his company is moving to a different building about a mile away. The next morning, he decides that he needs to be there to help pack stuff and move.
I had myself tested for STDs. Those few weeks were horrible. I kept wondering who I was going to kill first if I had anything. Everything came back clean. I told him he was damn lucky, and he seemed surprised that I had myself tested. I'd found a spot from my office building to watch him leave his (he worked on the next block). I decided to pay a visit to the parking ramp where she parked her car, since he was still getting rides home. I waited in a corner stairwell, waited til I saw them go by and followed them. They were in the car when I stepped in behind it. What if she doesn't see me standing here?
WHAM!! My hand slams down on the trunk of her car. They jump out of their skin. He slowly looks back... I point at him, then to the floor next to me. I tell him that I don't understand why he keeps doing this to us, and that if it is me to just tell me. He grabs my hand as we walk and tells me that he wants me to be who I am. I stop, pull my hand away "But I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know up from down. I don't eat, I can't sleep. All I can think of is this fucking mess."
After we got home, we started talking. He said he felt like I was on a witch hunt, looking for something that wasn't there. "I'm looking because you won't talk to me and tell me the truth."
Finally, a day came when I had iron-clad, squirm-proof evidence that he had cheated. R, a younger neighbor who looked up to M stopped by to see him, but he was out again. R asked why I was upset and I told him. He told me he had seen M getting into her car. A block away from my house. And that he had seen him kiss her.
That was it. Fuck this shit, I can't take it any more. The next day, we were supposed to go to M's sister's house for a birthday party. I asked him how many times had he gotten into her car, leaned over and kissed her. "A lot" was his answer. I asked him how many times he fucked her. "Enough" was his answer. "How. Many. Times. Did. You. Fuck. Her?", I very menacingly asked. "Two to three times a month." I removed my ring, threw it at him and told him to go to his sister's party and leave me the fuck alone. When asked if he loved her, he said he didn't feel the same about her as he did me. What a bullshit answer.
Two days later, I leave work early. I wait outside his new building. Co-workers start leaving for the day. Here comes Skank. She tries to go around me. "Oh, no. You and I have to talk." I ask her if she has any morals at all, because she knew he was married with children. Called her a sad excuse of a woman, because she couldn't find a man of her own. Told her that she could piss me off all she wanted to, but she was hurting my kids and I WAS NOT GOING TO HAVE THAT. (I started yelling at this point) I didn't give a crap that everyone they worked with knew they were fucking. One lady wanted to call the police on me. Good thing she didn't because then I would have nothing else to lose. I asked when is the last time she fucked my husband and her answer pissed me off even more. I told her that I was done with her, and that it was her lucky day because "I'm going to let you live." As she turned away from me, I spit on her.
I turn towards M, and start beating the hell out of him. I told him to take our daughter to this event she had, then get the fuck out of my house.
When he got back, he started packing a bag. That was the only point during this whole thing that I was actually scared to let him leave. I told him not to go. He suggested counseling, and even made the appointment.
You might be wondering why I put up with all of this shit. We had 13 years of marriage and two kids. I didn't stay with him because of the kids. Hell, I didn't even marry him because of them. I didn't stay with him because I was scared to be alone. We went to counseling, and both learned new things about ourselves and each other. I stayed with him because he finally showed remorse, accepted his share of the blame and apologized for hurting me. He recognized the fact that he needed me more than I needed him. I've forgiven him, and myself. I don't regret any actions I took, considering how he seemed indifferent about the subject.
In part 1, I mentioned that this was still fresh for me. It's not as fresh as I thought. I actually had to go look at my old journal to remember a few things. When asked why, he gave the following reasons: "I didn't feel loved, appreciated, or wanted." We have learned to open up to each other. More importantly, we've learned how to listen for the unspoken thoughts hiding behind our words.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Friday Fiver
1. What is your local lake/river/sea?
Lake Erie
2. Do you believe in dragons and unicorns?
Yep, sure do.
3. What is your favorite fruit?
Raspberries and strawberries
4. Do you smoke?
Nope. It's been 3 1/2 years since I quit smoking.
5. Friday fill-in:Together they would _get into so much trouble_ .
Lake Erie
2. Do you believe in dragons and unicorns?
Yep, sure do.
3. What is your favorite fruit?
Raspberries and strawberries
4. Do you smoke?
Nope. It's been 3 1/2 years since I quit smoking.
5. Friday fill-in:Together they would _get into so much trouble_ .
The story behind the Kiki. Part 1
Isn't it weird how time flies when you are too busy living? Sometimes terrible things happen, and everyone is shocked/angry/horrified. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and go back to trying to lead a normal life. Think about it - Princess Diana died on August 31, 1997; the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon happened in 2001. My point is this - as time goes by, our perception of the past in relation to now gets skewed and when we think of past events we say "Was it really that long ago?"
Which leads me to today's subject. Searabbit wanted to know the story behind my answer to #4 for TMI 94. It is still fresh in my memory, but for me the story began unfolding in December 2002. Not only did I find out a lot about M and our marriage, but I found strength in myself that I never knew existed.
My journey into my "dark time" started innocently and accidentally. M liked to go visit his friends. I'm not the type of girl that is going to question where another human goes (unless it's one of my kids). I won't go through his pockets, wallet or dresser drawers.
He would always make a point of asking me "You don't mind if I go out, do you?" I always told him he never had to ask, because I knew I never had a reason to worry. He was a grown man, and I was not his mother. Besides, at the time I had been depressed for quite a while and didn't really care what he or the kids did.
I sometimes have to use wrist braces, because of the whole carpal tunnel thing. They were not where I usually had them, and I knew M used them sometimes as well. I looked all over the house, in all possible spots. The only place left was his dresser. I opened the top drawer, and moved a few things. I saw a receipt (which he keeps), and was curious about what we might have purchased that day.
It was nothing that I expected. A dozen roses. Purchased recently. I never got them. I held onto that receipt for a few weeks, but didn't say anything just yet. I wanted to be sure of what I was saying to M when I confronted him with it. I started thinking about certain things, like his time online, and some phone calls where he whispered.
Doing some digging meant I would have to turn into something I didn't want to be. A wife that was willing to go through pockets, wallets and dresser drawers. I checked his cell phone records. Since he worked close to my office, I'd follow him at lunch time. I'd call the house to see what time he was getting home from work.
To be continued...
Which leads me to today's subject. Searabbit wanted to know the story behind my answer to #4 for TMI 94. It is still fresh in my memory, but for me the story began unfolding in December 2002. Not only did I find out a lot about M and our marriage, but I found strength in myself that I never knew existed.
My journey into my "dark time" started innocently and accidentally. M liked to go visit his friends. I'm not the type of girl that is going to question where another human goes (unless it's one of my kids). I won't go through his pockets, wallet or dresser drawers.
He would always make a point of asking me "You don't mind if I go out, do you?" I always told him he never had to ask, because I knew I never had a reason to worry. He was a grown man, and I was not his mother. Besides, at the time I had been depressed for quite a while and didn't really care what he or the kids did.
I sometimes have to use wrist braces, because of the whole carpal tunnel thing. They were not where I usually had them, and I knew M used them sometimes as well. I looked all over the house, in all possible spots. The only place left was his dresser. I opened the top drawer, and moved a few things. I saw a receipt (which he keeps), and was curious about what we might have purchased that day.
It was nothing that I expected. A dozen roses. Purchased recently. I never got them. I held onto that receipt for a few weeks, but didn't say anything just yet. I wanted to be sure of what I was saying to M when I confronted him with it. I started thinking about certain things, like his time online, and some phone calls where he whispered.
Doing some digging meant I would have to turn into something I didn't want to be. A wife that was willing to go through pockets, wallets and dresser drawers. I checked his cell phone records. Since he worked close to my office, I'd follow him at lunch time. I'd call the house to see what time he was getting home from work.
To be continued...
Thursday, August 2, 2007
OWWWWWWWIEEEEEEEE
One thing you should never do is get your pinky ring caught on your nose piercing. Especially if the piercing is only two months old.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Happy Hump Day!!
What a great way to celebrate Wednesday!
Today's topic is Girlfriend's Day.
1. Pick a friend at random
Z
2. How long have you known this person?
For almost 30 years. (I'm not that old.) I've known her since 2nd grade.
3. What is this person's best quality?
She makes everyone feel important. No matter what.
4. What is your favorite thing to do with this person?
Just hang out, laugh a lot.
Today's topic is Girlfriend's Day.
1. Pick a friend at random
Z
2. How long have you known this person?
For almost 30 years. (I'm not that old.) I've known her since 2nd grade.
3. What is this person's best quality?
She makes everyone feel important. No matter what.
4. What is your favorite thing to do with this person?
Just hang out, laugh a lot.
Letter
Dear DNA Sponsor,
Listen, it's not OUR fault that you got yourself into this situation. Who was it that decided he needed to be Davy-fucking-Crockett? YOU. Not me. Not my family.
So when you get into one of your snits, don't take it out on us. I'm getting tired of that shit. I had enough of it growing up. I don't need it in my own fucking house.
And no one cares about your stupid stories. Not every driver is an asshole, just you. And stop fucking CALLING ME MOM. I'm not your mother, you ass.
(okay. I feel better now.)
We now join our regularly scheduled programming.
Listen, it's not OUR fault that you got yourself into this situation. Who was it that decided he needed to be Davy-fucking-Crockett? YOU. Not me. Not my family.
So when you get into one of your snits, don't take it out on us. I'm getting tired of that shit. I had enough of it growing up. I don't need it in my own fucking house.
And no one cares about your stupid stories. Not every driver is an asshole, just you. And stop fucking CALLING ME MOM. I'm not your mother, you ass.
(okay. I feel better now.)
We now join our regularly scheduled programming.
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