The joke's on you!

Is it me, or just my imagination? Have I become what I loathe - a paranoid conspiracist that thinks the whole world is out to get me? All my life, it seems that I have been the butt of other people's jokes in one form or another. So what is it that makes me a target?

Could it be my looks?
I would not say that I am physically beautiful (as in men and women alike lust after me), but nor am I a troll (no offense to the great trolls out there). Yes, I have gained weight since I quit smoking and have a million excuses for it. "I'm too busy to work out" "I'm too depressed to work out" "Maybe M likes heavy chicks" I'm not huge, but I'm not a twig either.

I was very conscious of a very slight birth defect on my upper lip, and some older boys would pick on me for it. The veins in my lip became twisted somehow, and resulted in a "bump" in the middle of my lip. It's not like I was the elephant girl or anything.

Could it be my personality?
At one time, I was a REAL bitch. Even looking at me cross-eyed could get your head ripped off and shoved up your ass. Like anyone else, I have issues. I was very shy growing up and had very few close friends. Because of the teasing I got, I became a loner. I toughened up and always seemed angry at the world. I subconsciously built a wall around myself that I think of as my own little secret garden where I keep my true self hidden from the world. I am not like that now. I am able to talk to strangers, and have mellowed out quite a bit. I don't know what makes a "strong" personality, but I am sure I don't have a weak one.

Is it just meant to be that way? Getting to my point: the other day Son called me. He asked where I was, then said that his friend CJ had something to say to me. I heard murmering in the background, then I got "Nevermind". Okay, boys will be boys. However, it is not the first time CJ has done something that bothered me. I told Son "Don't call people and tell them that someone has something to say, and then say 'Nevermind.' It's one thing to be the butt of a joke, but another thing to know that you are the butt of that joke." He said that he was sorry, but that CJ had said something about me.

I know I shouldn't care, but when you got this kind of shit all the time growing up you tend to become jaded towards people. It also bothers me because we have always treated CJ as a son. M and his father CJS are best friends and have known each other for years.