Update

A lot has been going on for me lately, or at least that's what I'd like to think. I've finished with my Criminal Justice degree. When people asked me what I had planned after finishing, I told them I wanted to be a bum. I've worked full time for the past 8 years. I feel like I deserve a break. And what a bum I am! I sleep til 9 or later on my days off, I have absolutely no ambitions right now.

I've been spending more time with Dollie Jo, Rockabilly Red and Little Sista. We're all invited to be a part of Dollie Jo's wedding. It's a black and red theme, and I think she wants us to wear black satiny sleeveless dress.

My grandmother passed away last Tuesday. She was 84. The wake was lovely. The funeral... not so much.

It was fine until we got to the cemetery. Then it became totally fucked. I was looking in my purse, and when i looked up I saw the hearse turning to the left, but not the funeral director guy who was in front of the hearse. I remember thinking "Where is he going? He missed the driveway." Then I saw the back of the hearse...

My uncle D was driving behind the hearse, and HIT the hearse (which was brand new). He said he looked away for just a second then he crashed into it. My cousin K was in the front seat, and had his foot up on the dash. His head hit his knee, then his foot hit the windshield. While at the grave site, K passes out. he's got a concussion. Aunt N was riding in the hearse with grandma, and she went in an ambulance as well. I found out later that all the other cars wouldn't start. They all stalled!

Now that grandma is gone, I think of the family as strings of beads, held together by one central bead. now that bead is missing, and the rest of the strings are falling apart. Some are connected to others, but most of the strings are loose....

I wrote a note to grandma and put it in her purse. She never went anywhere without one. She also never left the house without her nails painted or without lipstick. I regret not spending more time with her. see, somehow my little family of me mom and dad became alienated from them. I always thought it was because of my dad, like he wouldn't let my mom see them. Now I know she played her own part in it as well. My point is that even when i was old enough to choose for myself, I never went to visit her. So I am basically mourning not just her, but the time that we never had because I'm an idiot. I've made my piece with the way things were. That's why I wrote the note. All I can hope for now, is to change the future.



Nice blogging article
http://christinekane.com/blog/18-stupid-mistakes-bloggers-make-in-their-first-year/