Life and career. Most people have such things worked out. I thought I did. Lately, I've been feeling a bit... lost. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't feel like I know what I'm good at doing.
I'm not so sure that I want to work with/around computers anymore. I know it's going to be near impossible to avoid any type of computing equipment. I know for a fact that I don't want to continue at my current place of employment. I just can't take day-in and day-out, never-ending calls from the type of customers to which I speak.
I have two Associate degrees. Two! I'm not really doing anything with either of them. I was talking to Rockabilly Red about school and stupid College, and came to the conclusion that I stayed there so long because I thought I'd look like an idiot anywhere else. They don't really teach you everything you might need to know. I stayed there because I "knew" what I was doing. I was afraid that if I left, I'd be proven to be stupid and not really know any "real" computer stuff.
My original thought with the Criminal Justice degree was to combine my "skills" with CJ to go into the field of Computer Forensics. I struggled with the computer forensics class. There was too much to know and remember. So I may have sabotaged myself on that end. I still have my books, and will be re-reading them.
Oh, hell. Let me be honest. I've hardly ever read any of my text books while attending classes. Most of the knowledge in my head came from what was taught in class, then regurgitated during quizzes and exams. I never studied for anything. Either I am a freakin' genius, or College is not doing what it should to ensure quality education.
I was talking to M, and he reminded me of something. He was almost 40 before he discovered what he was good at doing. If I use 40 as a guideline, then I don't have much time left! I know, you're probably thinking "But you have two degrees. Why aren't you doing anything in your field?" That's a good, valid question. To which I do not have an answer.
All I know is that I have to answer a few things: What I'm good at doing, and what makes me happy. I know what makes me happy. Crafting. Making things. Part of my problem is that I haven't met a craft I didn't like. More thought will be given to upcoming adventures!
I believe that a happy worker is a productive worker. My 9 years spent in College hell absolutely spits in the face of that thought...
Is it possible that I'm having a mid-life crisis? Ack! Sometimes I think that I am having one. I got my nose pierced a few years ago. I want a tatoo. I'm in my late 30's with two teenagers. I don't want to be like my 40-something year old SIL that runs around wearing clothing that only a 19 year old should wear. All I know is that things cannot continue the way they are, something is going to break. I just don't want it to be me that breaks...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
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