Late Weird Wednesday

I hate it when my days are "off".


Wednesday Weirdness #52
Questions By: Amorous Rocker

1.) What items (if any) do you get embarrassed to purchase?
Feminine Hygiene products. I don't know why.

2.) What sexual position do you and your partner/significant other use most?
Vanilla Missionary.

3.) Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off or do you slip them on and off?
It depends how lazy I feel. Most times I untie them, because I hate having to untie them to put them on and I hate trying to shove my foot in the shoe.

4.) What is the last thing you broke by accident?
The bed frame. We weren't even doing anything. I had just made the bed, and he laid down. I sat down on the edge, probably obviously too hard and the supports under the boxspring broke right in half.

5.) If you had to lose one of your body parts what would it be and why?
I think I could stand to lose a leg. I do too much with my hands, they assist me in my line of work. I also like to craft, and it would be a bit difficult to knit with my toes.

6.) How do you feel about anal sex?
LOVE IT.

7.) If you could have the ability to solve problems quickly and easily or the ability to know without doubt every time a person told a lie, which ability would you want and why?
Ooo, tough choice. I hate worrying about a person telling a lie. It causes me stress, and self-doubt. However, if I knew they were telling a lie, then I'd only worry about the best course of action. Still stressed. I think I'd have to choose the ability to solve problems. Solve the problem, no more stress. Yeah, I can live with that.

Weird Wednesday #51

Story Time Edition
Theme by: Pink Vodka Bubbles


1.) Tell us how you picked the blog nickname that you write under. (IE: I am Pink Vodka Bubbles) Were you considering using a different pseudonym or was the one you wound up with your first pick?

Kiki is the Hawaiian version of my nickname. I started this blog under a different name, one where I vented my frustrations and thoughts about Hub's indiscretinos. I then decided that I needed to find a way to help me break free of the bonds of conservative prudishness. No such luck. I finally settled with this version of the blog because I don't always feel like I know myself anymore. Lately, I feel I should start calling myself Sex Starved Kitten.


2.) Tell us about your worst oral sex experience.

I'm not really big on oral sex. Hub seems to like to give, but I could live without it. Maybe he isn't doing it right. I've tried to show him what/how to make it enjoyable for me. He gives no indication that he's enjoying it when I give, so I'm at a loss even after 17 years.


3.) Tell us about the most fun night you've had in the last two months time.

The most fun would be the night before Dollie's wedding, spent at the hotel with Red, Dollie, Cutie Pie, and JJ. Just a bunch of girls, swimming, in the hot tub, eating pizza and just relaxing.


4.) If you were in a restaurant sitting down ready to order and you saw something that grossed you out enough to make you get up right then and leave without ever ordering, tell us about what you saw to make you react that way.

Maggots or roaches.


5.) Tell us about your favorite childhood toy.

I actually still have them. One is a teddy bear given to me by a neighbor, and the other is a 2 foot tall Raggedy Ann doll that my mother made for me.


6.) Tell us about the weirdest sexual proposition you've ever been faced with.

That would have to be during high school. Now I've never thought of myself as a sexual being, nor a pretty girl. I'm not grotesque either. I guess I'm just average, in so many ways that I don't want to get into right now.

Getting on with the story, there were a bunch of guys in high school that felt the need to torture me psychologically. One day, in shop class, JB was in charge of the tool room. He dragged a desk in there, and when I needed to sign out a hammer, he said "Come on, Kiki. Join me in here." and he started to dry hump the desk.

As I reached over the half door to unlock it, I said "Sure thing, sexy". He totally freaked. That was the last time he ever did or said anything of that nature again. :D


7.) Tell us about one of the not-so-good dates you and your current (or ex if you have no current) significant other have gone on.

There are two that stick out in my mind. One is our anniversary dinner a few years ago. I thought I blogged about it, but couldn't find it. He made me cry, and not for any good reason like a really nice piece of jewelry as a gift.

Let me tell you about the "romance" package I setup for Valentine's day 2002. It had occurred to me that around the time of indiscretions, I should probably put more effort into being a better wife/lover. I booked a room with a jacuzzi in a Downtown hotel. Took him to dinner at a local brew pub so that he could try different beers. We didn't talk much. On our way back to the hotel, we had to pass by the many bars on the local strip.

I have this thing about "sharing" the sidewalk, and having enough manners to move over when I see someone else walking on the same sidewalk. I was raised to move behind/in front of the people I am with because it's the polite thing to do. I sometimes forget that not everyone knows about the "single-file" thing. I just love it when I have to brace myself with my shoulder ready to knock some trifling bitch to the ground because she is too involved in herself to have some fucking manners. (WOW, no anger there huh?)

So I shouldered Barbie out of the way, because I didn't want to walk in the mud with my brand new boots. That must have ticked him off because I could hear him mumbling about it. That pissed me off. We finally made it back to the room, and settled down. Ok, I settled down.

Once it was time for bed, I put on the lingerie I bought. I tried to give oral, but I guess I wasn't doing it as well as his Skank Whore, because he stopped me and said I didn't have to do this. That hurt. Holy fuck, that really was a bad date.

Wednesday Weirdness

WW #50
Questions by: Aiden Church and Biz Brunette

1.) What condiment goes best with french fries?
Ketchup, hot sauce, and vinegar.

2.) What condiment do you feel best represents your personality?
Hot Sauce

3.) If the love of your life was a different religion from you, would you convert for them if they asked you to?
No. The love of my life would have to understand that my beliefs are different, and I can't change that for anyone but myself.

4.) What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Crackers.

5.) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. I like surprises.

6.) If you could change your eye color to anything in the world you wanted, what would you change it to?
Violet

7.) Are you more often the partner in crime or the good conscience with your friends and family?
I'm the good conscience.

Wednesday Weirdness #20 (Late)

Wednesday Weirdness #20: Weight Watchers

1. Are you happy with how much you weigh? Why or Why not?
I'm not happy with my weight for a few reasons: This is the heaviest I've ever been, and nothing looks right on me. I also want to lose weight to look great for a wedding that I am in.

2. Have you ever been at a weight you are happy with?
Yes, it was shortly after I had Baby Girl. I used to walk to my friend Z's house everyday! It was just about a 2.3 mile walk each way.

3. Are you currently on a diet now? If yes, describe.
Well, I'm basically trying to watch what and how much I eat. I want to exercise, but since I pulled my back muscles (and it still hurts a bit), I'm a bit nervous to go to the gym.

4. What is the craziest thing you have ever done to lose weight?
Nothing really. I've thought about that grapefruit diet.

5. What is your favorite thing about your body?
My favorite thing has to be my legs. They go up and make an ass of themselves :)

6. What is your least favorite thing about your body?
Everything that's not my legs.

Wednesday Stuff on Thursday

Truth or Dare time!!

What is the most embarassing thing your parents have ever seen you do?
That would be the time we went to a state park, and there was one of those merry go round thingys:

Well, it had just rained before we got there, and I wanted to ride it. There was a huge puddle going around the whole thing. So I sat down thinking I was going to be really cute sitting on the edge, and my mom stood in the middle.

DNA Sponsor spun us like crazy. Well, I had not yet learned about centrifugal force. I definitely learned about it at that moment. As I started to slide forward, both my parents were trying to get me to get up and go to the middle. No such luck. I grabbed the bars while trying to do that, and wound up getting dragged through the puddle.

This is all I remember seeing: trees, trees, trees, DNA sponsor laughing his ass off, trees, trees, trees, DNA sponsor laughing his ass off, trees, trees, trees, DNA sponsor laughing his ass off, trees, trees, trees.

When you're done laughing, go visit Pluff and play along with us next week. On Monday, email him with your choice of Truth or Dare. I think I'll pick Dare next week.


Wednesday Weirdness #7

1.) Do you have anything planned for your father for Father's Day? If so, what?
I bought him a few blank journal books. He likes to find recipes and then write them into journal books. Other than that, nothing else too special. He's not one for holidays. He blames it on my grandmother, who was a Jehovah's Witness. That's a story for another day.

2.) If you could visit anywhere in the world with all your expenses paid for each trip, where would you go?
Egypt

3.) What are a few things you have done that you previously said you would never do?
Work in a call center.

4.) How do you react to the bodily functions (passing gas, burping, etc) of your significant other?
It depends on what he ate when it comes to passing gas. Sometimes I have to run from the room. Burping doesn't bother me.

5.) What are you allergic to?
Cats (but I have one), dogs (but I had one), Spring/Summer (pollen and stuff).

6.) If you could go back in time and meet any passed historical figure, who would you choose and why?
Hmm... I can only think of Pocahontas or Sacagewea. To slap them and tell them of the horrors that wait in the future for Native Americans. Reservations, smoke shops and casinos.

7.) Honestly, how often do you check up on any of your exes?
I think I've asked about my last Ex once. Either that, or his niece just offered the info. I can't remember, but I do remember getting the update. Honestly, I don't care. He's an Ex for a reason.

What day is it?!

Okay, my days are off. I know today is Thursday, but it feels like Wednesday to me. So I'm playing Ketchup for the past few days.


TMI Tuesday #136

1. What lines have you used to let someone down gently.
I just tell the truth. "Sorry, but I'm not interested in you."

2. If I gave you $10K to waste, what would you buy.
I'd buy a Playstation PSP and 3, and I'd get a tattoo. I don't really make expensive, outlandish purchases. I make a lot of little, dollar store ones.

3. If I gave you $10K, but you had to spend it all on someone else, what would you buy. I'd pay for part of my cousin's medical bills. She has Lupus and I'm very worried about her.

4. If your partner brought a double dildo to bed, you'd be __wondering when did he bring that into the house__?

5. What sounds to you make during sex.
I've caught myself growling sometimes. Then I break into giggles. I'm mostly quiet because there is always someone in the house.

Bonus (as in optional):
Tell your worst break up story.
That would be the Loser I took to my Senior Prom.

I met him through a "cousin". (I say that because her father was a very close friend of my mother's family.) He was her uncle, but was a few months younger than both of us. When she introduced us, it was puppy love at first sight. We were both bonkers over each other. It was like that for a few years.

He was in a car accident that almost killed him. He lived in the next major city, but I had no way to get there to see him. I called him everyday. I knew he missed his prom, so I asked him to go to mine. Shortly before prom, he moved to the same city, but just on the other side Cousin told me to be mindful, because he had been "around the block". I had a feeling that was the case, but had no worries. I was actually stupid enough to think that sex with him was going to be a wonderful experience for me.

I was left wondering what was the big fuckin' deal about sex. Soon after, he decided that "we lived too far apart to keep seeing each other, but we can still be friends". I could understand that if he still lived in the next major city. So I told him to go fuck himself, because he obviously did a better job of it and that if he ever called me again, they'd have to search the river for his body


**** I just remembered why I'm off! I was up late on Monday and had a few drinks. I woke up at noon on Tuesday. It's extremely rare for me to sleep that late!


Wednesday Weirdness #5

On the following questions, use a scale of 0 (being the worst) to 10 (being the best) to rate the things the questions ask about. Also explain why you gave yourself the rating you did. If you cannot use a scale to rate or do not want to, just explain without the numeric rating.


1.) How would you rate your own personal hygiene?
9. I like being clean. My hair is short enough that I can wash it every other day. If I do something that gets my head really sweaty, then I wash it everyday.

2.) How would you rate your ability to keep a secret?
15. If you tell me something that you want kept secret to the grave, I'm your girl. Trust is very important to me. The only time I would ever break that trust is if the results would hurt someone

3.) How would you rate your cooking skills?
6. I'm not trying to be a French chef or anything. I like to cook, but mostly simple recipes. Only when I'm throwing a kick-ass party do I turn out the fancy recipes.

4.) How would you rate your level of laziness?
7. I really do hate cleaning house. I do it, but I'd rather someone else doing it.

5.) How would you rate your level of insecurity?
15. I have low self esteem.


And now for the exciting stuff!

9AM, Wednesday.
RiInG!! RiInG!!

(Damnit. I'm watchin' Clean House. Who the fuck is callin' this early?!)

Hello?
Hi, Kiki? It's Mrs Pesa.
Oh, hey Mrs. What's up?
Is Mr Pesa there?
No. I haven't seen him. I know they went out last night, but I wasn't home when they left.
Is M home?
Yeah, he's sleeping. He got home at 5 AM.
Can you wake him up and ask if he knows where Mr is?

(This can't be good. This is why I hate it when M and Mr get together. Nothing good ever comes of it and M always drinks too much. WTF.)

M! Wake up! It's Mrs. She wants to know where you left Mr.
::sleepily:: I left him at Red's house.

(Great. I hate this type of shit. I just want to watch my show.)

M says he's at Red's house. Did you call there?
Yeah. Red said he wasn't there. I've called the house, and his cell is turned off.
I just got home from the store, but I didn't see Mr's car out there.
He didn't take the car. I gave him a ride because I didn't want him drinking and driving.
Oh. Do you think he'd walk home?
He better be on his way. I was ready to call you last night to go for a ride to make sure they weren't up to any funny business.
I would have been up for a ride. (Sorry chicky, but I trust my man. No need to check on him.)
Can you do me a favor, just go knock on Red's door and see if Mr is there? Red might have been half asleep when I talked to him. If Mr is there, could you have him call me?
Sure. (I don't want to, but you could be right. Red could have been half asleep and might not know that Mr is there.)


::wandering over to Red's house::

::Knock knock::

Who is it?! I'm in bed!
It's Kiki. Is Mr here?
He's downstairs at Dyke's!


::Knock knock::

Hi Kiki.
Hi. Is Mr here?
Yeah, he's crashed out on the couch.
Can you have him call his wife when he gets up? She called my house looking for him.
Sure.

I go about my day, drinking Monster and Jolt. Mrs calls back around 11 AM. I tell her what happened at Red's and that Mr was downstairs at Dyke's house.
I'm going to take an early lunch.

M finally gets up to find me vacuuming, something I haven't done personally in about a year. I stopped to move a few things, and had turned off the vacuum. I look out my front window and see Mrs yelling at Dyke.

Even DNA sponsor came in the house. Mrs is a petite woman, but everyone was scared of today! We could see her yelling at Mr in the car. Then he got out of the car and she was still yelling. ...M came home! M came home!...

It's sad that she had to do that.



Then I came across this:
Baby for sale on Craigslist

Wednesday Weirdness #4

The Perv Edition.

1. What is the worst part about going down on the opposite sex?
Having a cold and not being able to breathe right.

2. What is something you want more of in your current relationship? (Or if you're not in one, something you wanted more of in your previous relationship.)
More sex. More communication.

3. What is something you want less of in your current relationship? (Or if you're not in one, something you wanted more of in your previous relationship.)
Less misunderstandings, less stress.

4. Have you ever had a sex dream that involved a cartoon or fictional character in it?
Not that I can recall.

5. Have you ever fantasized about a significant other's parent?
EW. No.

6. Where is the most public place you've ever masturbated?
At my old job.

7a. GIRLS: If a guy expressed his desire to wear a pair of your panties, what would your reaction be?
"Umm.... Okay.........."

7b. GUYS: If a girl expressed her desire for you to wear a pair of her panties, what would your reaction be?

8. How much is "too much" when it comes to Public Displays of Affection?
It depends on the place. If they are in a public park where there are children, I think it's too much when they are practically having sex. Kissing is okay. Grabbing tits is not. Holding hands is okay. Drooling on Nether-regions is not.

If they are in a bar, by all means have at each other. We're all adults and want to watch!

Wednesday Stuff

Truth or Dare Answer:

What is one thing you want your lover to do? It can be something a) he/she won't do b) hasn't ever done or c) used to do but hasn't in a while. And yes, we're talking about sex here, not doing the dishes or mowing the grass.. or doing the dishes and/or mowing the grass as foreplay... you get the idea.

I want him to be more adventurous in bed. I don't mind "vanilla", but once in a while I'd like to try a new flavor.


Wednesday Weirdness #3

1.) I get angriest at work when a co-worker __half-asses when he is troubleshooting with a customer__. Sometimes, that makes me just want to __break his face__. Instead, I tend to __do a better job of troubleshooting than he did, and actually fix the problem__.

2.) (Hypothetical scenario.) I was walking through the supermarket one day and saw an __apple__. I realized that instead of eating it, a better use for it would be __a shrunken apple head for a doll__.

3.) Three things that relax me more than anything are __bus rides__ , __a nice shoulder massage__ and __working in my craft area__ .

4.) My favorite two things to do with my hands are __grab M's body parts__ and __craft something__ . My two least favorite things to do with my hands are __dishes__ and __fold laundry__.

5.) I always dreamed about owning a __car__ or a __horse__ but never have had the money to pay for either of them.

6.) If I were starving and needed to buy something to eat, I would sell __my bike__, __my antique brass table__ and __my jewelry__ at a Pawn Shop to get cash to buy food.

Wednesday Weirdness #2

1. You get to go back in time to any year/era you want to go to. Present day you has to adapt to the lifestyle of whatever era you chose and live back in that time for one year. What era are you going back to and why?
I'd like to go back to America before Columbus or any other explorer. I'd stay in the same area I'm in now, and I'd be perfectly happy. I'd like to see what life was like for my ancestors.

2. What is your opinion on the butterfly effect theory? (click the link if you aren't familiar with it =D)
It seems plausible to me. Isn't that why humans are always saying "What if..."?

3. Do you hand wash your dishes or use a dishwasher?
For a while, they had to be done by hand because I didn't have the right faucet thingy for the dishwasher hookup (it's portable). Now, it's both because I have cast iron

4. If you had to give up sex or the internet and could never do the one you gave up ever again; which would you give up?
I'm glad this isn't a real life choice! I need both!! If I give up sex, does that include masturbation?

Wednesday Weirdness #1 (LATE)

AR and her friend, Macabre Girl came up with this new little meme. I think I'm addicted to meme's.

1. ) Some people can pull leftovers out of the refrigerator and chow down without warming them up. Others can't. What are some foods that you serve warm but can eat once they're cold?
I've been coming back around to leftovers. But there is one type of food that I simply will not eat once cold - Chinese food. It gets hard and it feels weird. I won't even nuke it and eat it. Nope. No way.

2. ) Have you ever incorporated food into sex before? Explain.
Um.. who hasn't? Whipped cream, chocolate sauce and cherries make for a very nice "banana" split. :)

3. ) What is one snack you eat that other people may consider odd?
Tuna Fish Spaghetti.